I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
