Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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