I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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