it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
