she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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