why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
