ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
