He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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