your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
