R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
