elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
