Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
