.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
