so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
the raccoons are back...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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