my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
