Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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