MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
