If i come over, it means nothing
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
