end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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