I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
