Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My vagina is officially offended.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize