She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
