I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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