you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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