I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
