i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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