It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
