Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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