i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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