when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
