Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you win again, gameday.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
