I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
