What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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