Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i believe in u and ur pee
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
