Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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