she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
