and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
