Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
