That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
