you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
