"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
