And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
