What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize