Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
