So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
