The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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