The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize