dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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