Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
