Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
