so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
