which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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