If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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