People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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