ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
