Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
