Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
