Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
