Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
